you just keep me hangin' on

i'm tired. i think i'm coming down with something. i've been surprisingly healthy in the past eight or ten months, however - i haven't been sick since the week i was really sick in the winter. i shouldn't be blogging. i wonder what percentage of publications on the internet start that way. i should be working to diminish the gothically supported and balanced piles of laundry and paperwork. i just can't figure out where to start and stop and get enough sleep to keep going. sometimes i think that two entire days spent awake and on speed would be enough to get me a little ahead. as the eight-year-old sage calvin said, "God put me on this earth for a purpose. right now, i am so behind i will never die."
i want to be so many right things. and yet there's always hovering around my shoulders the ecstatic whispers that i am loved no matter if i ever become those right things or not. i need most of all to remember that.